Crushing Ellen Page

There are two things I know about Clay Parker Jones: he loves himself and he loves women.

So, when he announced his crush on Ellen Page, I was hardly surprised. In fact, I responded by saying, “she’s like a tiny, female, slightly cleaner, lighter skinned version of you.”

That’s not a bad thing.

And having watched Juno about 40 times—once with Clay Parker Jones—I feel that I speak from experience when I say…Ellen Page if you come across this and respond, you probably won’t be disappointed…unless you’re disappointed easily. And in that case, maybe you could send him an autographed glossy 8x10. He’s a nice boy, that would make him smile.